I have arrived!

After 18 months with a little one, I've finally come to the realization - I have arrived as a Mom!  What brought on this grand epiphany?  No, not the 9 months of growing a human in my belly, not the 11+ hours I spent in labor, and not the past 18 months of having a mini-me clung to my leg.  Nope, it was a missing carrot, well a toy carrot, actually only half of a toy carrot.

It's one of those pretend foods that the kids "cut" with a plastic knife.  The food is already cut, they're just held together with velcro.  But it's one of Emma's favorite toys - and for some reason, the carrot especially.  It would capture atleast 20-30 minutes of her undivided attention, she would cut, put it back together, cut, back together... whilest I was cooking supper, cleaning, or just enjoying some "free" time.  So to me, it was priceless.

Pic from Small World Toys

So this whole week I have looked through couch cushions, under furniture, dug through toy boxes... meanwhile Emma keeps pulling out the other half, trying unsuccessfully to cut it, then turns to me and pleads "Uh Uh", which translates into "Mommy fix it!".

Then I thought to myself, have I really hit that point in my life where I'm stressed over a toy carrot??  Then it dawned on me... holy hell I've become a MOM!

There were signs.  The interest in buying jeans with a higher waistline so that when I'm bending over with Emma they don't drift so low that I start resembling a plumber.
  

Saturday Night Live

Or the fact that when I did my annual "clean out the closet" (i.e. - if it hasnt been worn in a year, donate it to Goodwill) I cleaned out every high heeled shoe - even the ones I kept after college in case I ever wanted to get glammed up one night - and left the clogs and tennis shoes and other shoes of comfort.  And why didn't I notice it was strange when I passed the mom in a minivan and found I was envious of her spacious vehicle with its built-in DVD player and doors that close with a click of a button.

Gone are the days of driving around in my Daddy's pickup truck and blaring some Bellamy Brothers (little shout out to my redneck girls there).  The cowboy boots and hat that were once a staple in my bar hopping, NC State tailgating, frat house partying wardrobe, are now collecting dust in the basement (no haven't brought myself to Goodwill them yet).



Yes that's me, several years ago, with beer spilled on my leg and holding the poll so I don't fall over.
But aren't I cool with my boots & NC State belt buckle?  Classy.

 But it's funny, I remember in college when I'd make an early morning (probably 10am) grocery store trip - half hung over, wanting to buy every munchie in there but since I was flat broke from last night's bar tab, only getting Oodles of Noodles & Gatorade - and passing Moms with their adorable rugrats strapped into the carts and thinking, I can't wait till thats me.  When I wasn't worried about grades and school and what I was going to do with my life.  When life would just be simplier.  (Yeah right!)

I happened to catch a re-run of Sex & the City the other day.  The one where an old friend of Samantha's who used to match her step for step in the... ahem... man department, was now married, moved to the 'burbs and was having the gals over for a baby shower.  All of the girl's new friends had names like Mary Beth, Mary Kate, & Mary Jane (Martha Rose?) and were dressed as plain as possible and couldn't talk about anything other than how wonderful their kids were.  Of course Carrie was mulling over how could someone change so much and could she ever see herself in this suburbian life.  This difference between me and Carrie (amoung other things - glameous wardrobe, fabulous hair, big city life) is that I could always see myself in the 'burbs with a family.  I always knew I was destined for this, eventually.

So here I am, I have arrived at last!  I am a Mom - in all it's glory.  So while I say a bitterweet goodbye to my days of being young & dumb, I say hello to my Mom Jeans, comfy shoes, and missing toy carrots.