The wonderful world of toddlers

Just a small glimpse into what life with a toddler is all about:

The seemingly innocent grocery store trip.  Most of the time I go on the weekends or when Emma is in school (i.e. by myself).  There is something so calming about that liesurely stroll through the isles, checking out new products, reading the nutritional labels, comparing prices...

However, having to go when I've got a toddler in tow, it's a completely different experience.  Today was a fine example...

It all started with the "kiddy" cart.  You know the ones with the little cars attached to them.  You strap the kid in and they can pretend to steer while you buzz down the isles.  Never mind that the damn thing is as big as a Buick and steers about like the Titanic.  But hey, if it keeps her happy, then I'm all for it.  And it did manage to intrigue her curiosity... for about 10 minutes anyways.

Thanks to a few recent trips to Lowe's with Daddy, Emma has now learned that she doesn't have to stay in the cart.  She can get out and run up & down isles, pull things off the selves, talk to complete strangers, just pretty much act like she's in an indoor playground.  This wouldn't really bother me if I only had to get a few things and was just making a quick trip.  However, today was a "two sheet-er" grocery list, not to mention I'm in a new store where I haven't figured out where everything is, so I didn't really have the time to stop a toddler from climbing the shelves like they're a jungle gym, on top of trying to make sure she wasn't kid-napped by that illusive "boogey man".

So needless to say, a temper tantrum ensued once I told her, "No, you can not get out of your seat."  Thus began the relentless screaming, stopping only to inject repeated versions of this:

 

So I hurry through my list, try to "nicely" push my Titanic-sized cart through all the lil old ladies buying their Thanksgiving goodies, all the while trying to calm a 2 y.o. thats screaming like a banshee.  The looks I was getting were relentless, so much that I just stop making eye contact.  Head down, eye on the prize.

The check out line did provide some relief, found one that was open with no waiting.  The eager young teenage boy who is out of school this week and trying to earn an extra buck upheld his end of the deal and made some small talk with Emma.  This provided long enough time for me to make sure I used the right credit card, those bananas rang up on sale, that's good.  Whew, the blood pressure was starting to subside.

Finally make it out to the car, find my inner Incredible Hulk and pick up like 14 bags at one time and hurl them in the car.  Now comes the sweet, sweet serenity of granting the child the one thing she has been begging for for the last hour.

"Ok Emma, let's get out of your seat!"

Brows furrow, chin drops, hands on hips...

"NOOOOOOOOO!!!!"

Obscenities flow through my brain at such rapid fire that even if I wanted to voice them it wouldn't have came out as anything legible.