The loss of a loved one

Margaret Jeanette Herman, age 82, passed away on August 31st.  Most folks in the community knew her as "Jean", but to me, she was Grandma.

On my wedding day 8/19/06

Life can be a messy thing.  Thinking back to the time I had with my grandmother, there were my childhood days when I probably spent the most time with her but yet took this time for granted.  A naive adolescent - didn't everyone have a Grandma as great as mine?  Then there were the awkward teenage years, not knowing how to put into words the things I observed, things I appreciated, things I loved.  The college years was all about being young and free, and these faded into the married years.  Too busy starting my career, starting my family, just too far away and not enough time to stop by for a visit.  Messy, messy, messy.  As I shared these regrets with my mother when she first told me of Grandma's passing, she had some wonderful words of comfort.  "Martha, if there was anyone who would've understood, it was Grandma."

Christmas 2005

As we greeted family and friends during the services, there was one woman who made a very dear comment to me.  She simply stated, "You look so much like your grandmother."  She was probably just making small talk and didn't realize she would strike such a chord, but like a badge of honor, I shall wear this resemblance with pride.  But as far as personality goes, I can recognize lots of my family members in me.  My mothering skills undoubtedly come from my own mother, some days I'm completely caught off guard by how much I'm starting to sound like her.  My love of the mountains, nature, and all things outdoors comes from my father, and perhaps a bit of my stubbornness.  My fun loving, beach-bumming side comes from my mother's family.  My enjoyment of gathering friends & family comes from my Grandpa Herman, as well as my inability to get anywhere on time.  But if there's anything about me that is kind & tender, fair & just, accepting & thoughtful, I would like to think this comes from my Grandma Herman.

Christmas 2010 - Grandma made sure everyone got a stocking...

 
It is from this slice of the messy-Martha pie that I tapped into to write a few words in remembrance of Grandma.  I shared it with my aunts and was so pleased/honored/humbled that they decided to include it in her eulogy.  I share it with you now only give you a better idea of what my Grandma was like.  Please enjoy.

 

If there is one word that seems to come to mind when I think of my grandmother, it is “homemade”, with all the love and hard work that that word implies.  I think of the hand-crafted Barbie clothes I played with as a child.  The macaroni ‘n cheese dish that only she was able to perfect, despite my best efforts at duplicating her recipe.  The delightful afternoons I spent at her home learning to sew and make crafts.  I’m afraid I can never look at a pipe cleaner without thinking of Grandma.  Or the fact I find myself saving every button I stumble upon, you just never know when you might need one in that shape or color.  The harmonic hum of a sewing machine - that is certainly the sound of Grandma’s house.  Everything about Grandma was made from scratch, made with meticulous love and care.

And then there was her spirit.  Steady, loving, accepting, patient, always the quiet observer - ready to jump in with a quirky little joke that would tickle the heart strings.  Her ability to see the beauty around her:  whether it was a blooming flower, an intricate quilt stitch, or a fluttering bird.  The color blue and its many variations, oh how she cherished each one of them.

We could probably tell a million stories of her giving nature.  Food, clothes, quilts, crafts, all made with love, with care, with each individual in mind.  She had an uncanny ability to provide you with the exact sort of comfort you were in need of.  Always thinking of others and seldom herself.

As we carry on without this beautiful soul in our lives, I think of her now as the young woman I’ve seen in photos.  Her and Grandpa - giddy newlyweds posing for silly pictures in a hayfield.  I imagine Grandpa giving her a big ole smooch as she was reunited with him.  I picture her blushing and sheepishly grinning.  She is happy now and at peace.  This gives me great comfort.

We are all better people for having known her, our lives touched by her special way.  We will think of her often with warm hearts and maybe even a giggle or two (as she would have wanted).   I know I only hope to live my life as greatly as she did.

So we say good bye.  Rest in peace Grandma, we love and we will miss you dearly.

Sometimes, you just have to laugh...

So this weekend we went down to Cody's parents in NC.  And that inevitably meant that on Friday around 4pm I was rushing to get everything packed.  For every one article of clothing I carefully tucked into the suitcase, Emma would rip two out of it and squeal in delight of her pure mischievousness.  Needless to say, wills were battling.  Then I turn around and saw this:

Mommy's shoes & a butterfly hat.  Priceless.

Beach Trip

So we took our annual Beach Trip to Emerald Isle, NC last week.  We go every year during the week of July 4th.

 Side Note:
We did miss the year Emma was born b/c she was exactly two weeks old.  However I was so hormonally off balance I do remember begging, pleading, just down right kicking & screaming for Cody to let us go  (to the point I was in tears).  Luckily he realized taking a newborn on a 6+ hour road trip and staying an entire week with my entire family under one roof was a bad idea.  Thank goodness he stood his ground...

Anywho, so this was our second year having a youngin' on the beach.  That first year was a bit of a doozy.  Before kids, vacation used to be about one thing, and one thing only:

After kids, it's all about this:

And this:

And some beach toys, and towels, and baby sunglasses and sun hats, and, oh yeah, all plans must revolve around naptime, so you can forget about all-day trips to the waterpark.  And don't forget to bring the stroller.  Did we bring the pack 'n play?  What about her sippy cups and kiddy utensils???

Needless to say, it's not quite the relaxing vacation of my younger days.  So that first year (especially after taking the newborn hiatus) was a bit of an adjustment.

So this year I mentally prepared myself before departing.  Now that Emma is an exploring two year old, I knew she'd enjoy all the new adventures of the beach.  So I tried to look forward to this and not reminisce over the carefree, worry-free beach trips of the past.  And to my surprise we did have a really nice time.  Emma was so stinkin' adorable, kicking up sand and running out in the water as deep as she could until someone came & rescued her (or she got plowed over by an incoming wave - opps!).  Fearless this one.

We were even able to do some "multi-tasking".

 

So until next year dear sweet Beach Trip.  I'm learning to love the new you and look forward to what kid-friendly adventures await us in the years to come.

Early morning photo shoot

 

It's first thing in the morning, I'm in my PJs, and I'm raking....  inside.

Why?  Because I can.

Life with a two year old is never boring.

Emma's Second Birthday

A Birthday Rose for Emma Rose

Happy Second Birthday to my sweet baby girl... can't believe it's been two years!!  I can't imagine life without you now, every single day you make me smile.  I'm so proud of you and love you like I didn't know I could love!

Now, onto the good stuff!  Her birthday parties!!  This year I did a small get together with our friends in Roanoke at a local park.  It was in the middle of the day, so unfortunately no daddies could attend.  We all had a great time, mommies chatted, kiddies played, and the skies cleared for a great afternoon.  Here are a few highlights from that event:

Then we traveled to my parents over the weekend for a Father's Day / Emma's 2nd (2nd) Birthday Party.  We actually started this get together a few years before Emma's time.  My Grandpa Herman, who passed away in 2003, had a "secret" BBQ recipe that has been passed down to my older brother.

James Monroe Herman

So every year on Father's Day we grill BBQ chickens in remembrance of my grandfather.  So, since Emma's birthday is so close, I kinda crashed the party and added her celebration onto the festivities as well.  Anywho, pics from that event:

Looking forward to what adventures lie ahead of us in the upcoming year!

A Decade of Fluff

Summer of 2001

Look at that hot 18 year old.  Was that really me?  Holy cow, look at those legs.  What I would give to have those puppies back.  Ten years later, a few dress sizes larger, and one child "birthed", it's now time to go to our high school reunion.  God.Help.Me.  Is it even humanly possible for me to get that body back?  Probably not.  I'm really just posting this because I want everyone to know that under my layers of "fluff" that body does exist... somewhere...

The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

As I see Emma getting older and turning more into a little girl and less like a baby, I realize there are some good, some bad, and some just down right ugly truths about this transition.

The Good:
Emma is becoming more independent.  She is content to play by herself for longer periods of time.  I can sit out a coloring book and some crayons and she's good to go for a while.

Furthermore, with the new toddler bed, she'll usually get up in the morning and come play in the living room.

This is considerably better than the crib days when at the crack of dawn I would be summoned from a deep sleep and have to bound out of bed to rescue a screaming baby.  Yes, she still wakes me up early, but at least I can hang out in the bed until I've got my wits about me and am ready to get up and face the day.

Just felt like adding a pic of Emma's bed head...

She's also able to feed herself now.  No more sitting and shoveling pureed nastiness into an unreceptive baby.

In her Derby "hat"

The Bad:
With independence comes curiosity.  This little sponge likes to imitate everything Mommy & Daddy do.  Now don't get me wrong, this can be totally cute sometimes.

 

But that also means we've got to start watching what we're saying and doing.  She also loves to try new things and investigate how things work.

Daddy teaching her how to golf.

But this does result in kitchen cabinets being emptied (repeatedly), PDF's (public display of frustration) when things don't go her way, and endless temper tantrums.  (No photos of this, and believe me, you don't want to see it.)

The Ugly:

Some ugly truths about babies becoming toddlers?  Well for starters, when I pick Emma up from the nursery at the gym, I used to get sympathetic looks.  Like, "Oh, she just had a baby and she's trying to loose her baby weight."  But now, since lil' princess isn't a baby anymore, there's no sympathy (or excuses) for my extra "fluff".  (Again, no pictures, entirely too disgusting.)

There's a considerable increase in the number of times we get asked, "So, when are you having baby # 2?"  The closer we get to Emma's second birthday, that whopper of a conversation starter increases exponentially. 

 And the ugliest truth of all?  You'll eat your words.  As hard as that baby-phase was and as many times as people would tell me "Cherish every minute of it" (and I would think, "No way, I can't wait to be past this stage"), I find myself looking back at baby pictures and missing our sweet cuddle time.



The first day we brought Emma home.  June 2009



You realize you're little baby will never be a baby again.  That every fleeting moment with your precious little one will soon become only memories for the scrapbook (which may/may not be completed before she goes off to college).

So as I do my little balancing act that is parenthood, I am thankful that the good is so good, the bad is not so bad, and the ugly, well, that's censored for toddler ears.