Ding Dong, Summer's Gone! And why this depresses me...

Holy crap, it's August already!  While I know the official start of fall is not until late September, let's face it, the dog days of summer have done dogged out.

What did we do?  Well there was the beach trip, the trips to the pool, camping, grilling, paying outrageously high power bills as our A/C fought the record heat.  You know, the usual.

Most season changes I am filled with content reflection of the season gone by and with anticipation of what's to come.  I usually love having a little change in my life.  Things to look forward to that are specific to the upcoming season.  Adventures and fun to be had with my daughter, all made possible by the simple changing of a season.

Disclaimer: this is where the pity party begins...

As summer is ticking away, I'm afraid my mood is not so jolly.  Why you ask?  One simple reason, we still own a house in Roanoke.  Yes, it has been 9 months since we moved, and we are still paying monthly mortgage payments to a house we no longer live in.  Ouch.

All my previous posts about moving home and loving being here were all contingent on being able to easily break the financial ties that bound us to Roanoke.  Now don't get me wrong, I'm not regretting our move, I love being a North Carolinian again.  But what I don't love is watching our savings that was meant for future home building and dream-come-true'ing being flushed down the toilet because the economy decided to take a nose dive.

When the summer began we were thinking all positive.  SUMMER was like this illusive time when houses start selling like hot cakes.  "Oh, this is when folks buy homes", "They like to buy during the summer b/c they don't want to interrupt the kids' school years", etc, etc, etc.  And it's true, as I obsessively checked MLS listings, I would see house after house magically disappear as it went off to happy home buying land.

But yet, still no takers for ours.

Oh, we've had our fair share of almosts.  We had someone put down an offer two weeks after we first listed.  But... thanks again to the shitty economy, they couldn't get approved for a loan.  Sorry a-holes.  But we weren't too upset, if the house could catch someone's eye so quickly, surely we'd have a buyer soon?

Then we had the one that thought we had water damage in our basement, despite the fact we told her in the five years we lived there, we never had a problem.  But apparently her 10 minute inspection and uneducated opinion could not be changed.

Yes, I am bitter.  I am bitter we did not get the house sold this summer.  I am bitter we are now having to lower the price again and again, and with that watch our take home money that was supposed to replenish the savings dwindle and dwindle.  I am bitter about all of it.

So forgive me as I wallow in my bitterness.  I know it's not healthy, I know it's not right.  I know I should be thinking positive and praying to St. Joseph, the patron saint of home selling.  (No, I'm not making that up, see for yourself.)

 But yet here I am.  Waiting, waiting, waiting...

Will someone just buy it already!

The down & dirty of mommyhood

In honor of Mother's Day, thought I would share a story that really hits home for me.  To me, it's what mommyhood is all about...

So there I was, sitting on the pot trying to pass my bowels.

Oh don't act so surprised.  We've all gotta do it.

And in walks Emma, because a closed door & "privacy" are a foreign concepts to any almost three year old.  And not only does she barge in on my oh so private moment, she also likes to point out that I'm going "Poopy in the potty" and "Mommy's a big girl, Mommy wears underwear"(we're working on potty training at our house).  She then proceeds to hang around while I finish my bizniz, insisting we play a quick round of Pattycake and that I watch & cheer her on as she jumps from bathroom rug to bathroom rug like it's Hopscotch.

Now for someone who's fallen victim to several bouts of stage fright (public restrooms are the worst), it's taking quite a bit of concentration on my part to complete the task at hand.  But I persevere and move on to the paperwork.

By this point Emma has asked about 49 times if she can flush (her favorite part of potty training) and is now patiently standing next to me with her hand poised on the magic flusher.  (Talk about having to work under pressure.)  Also bare in mind our house is over a hundred years old, so the plumbing is not exactly up to snuff, even using too much TP when going #1 has been known to clog.  So, when Emma's big moment of flushing finally arrives, inevitably the toilet clogs.  To this she lets out a very dramatic "UH-OH!"

I then begin the glorious task of plunging and after a few failed attempts, things finally go down.  For my efforts, I am rewarded with a cheer, jumping & clapping, and a big ole "You did it!" from my very own little bathroom cheerleader.  Out of all the things I've done for my child, I didn't realize this would bring such joy.

Now the purpose of me sharing this slightly disgusting, a little disturbing, and definitely TMI story  is because it's Mother's Day.  And despite what all the Hallmark cards my say, sometimes motherhood can be messy, humbling, and well, awkward.  (Do I really have to drive a mini-van??)


"Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children, and no theories."  ~John Wilmot

Parenting is by far the most challenging and yet the most rewarding endeavor any of us will ever take on.  Who else will unconditionally love you so much that they will cheer you on as you blow up the bathroom?

This messy, humbling, and loving life is exactly what I wanted when I decided to become a mother.  I thank God for blessing me with my very own little bathroom cheerleader and look forward to the other adventures her & I will take on together.  However, God, do you think these adventures could take place somewhere beyond the privacy of our bathroom?  My bowels would be forever thankful.

11 Questions

Rules: Post a picture of yourself, tell us 11 things we might not know about you, answer the 11 questions asked of you, then write 11 new questions and tag some friends to play along (let them know you tagged them!)

1. I cannot swim.  At all.  Oh I can tread water and doggie paddle like nobody's business, (so don't feel like it's a life or death situation if I happen to get thrown in a pool) but if I needed to swim anywhere in a hurry, don't count on it.  Despite my mother's best efforts in re-enrolling me in swim lessons year after year, nothing ever stuck.  I think she eventually got a little embarrassed when I was about a foot taller than all the other kids and they were still swimming laps around me.


2. I'm secretly looking forward to Emma & I being gal pals.  This morning I put on a pretty little top and Emma said, "Oh Mommy, pwetty shirt!"  While I know a two year old is probably not up on the latest fashions, I did catch myself walking a little taller knowing my daughter approved of my outfit.


3. I am addicted to these things called Butter Cookies (believe me, you'll hear more about these later).


4. Atleast once a day I have some random, deep thought that makes me say, "Hey, I should blog about that."  So as you can tell from my scantily posted-on blog, I either loose that train of thought, don't get time to type it up, or I just decide it's too personal to share with the "world" (i.e. all half-dozen of you that follow me).


5. I can't remember too much about my first date with my hubby.  In my defense it was Ceres Formal and I'd had a few.........

6. To win back some brownie points after that last one.... the most fun I ever had with my husband was on our wedding day.  And I remember every single detail (despite the alcohol that was involved with that day as well).

7.  My daughter is simultaneously the biggest blessing and the biggest challenge I've ever had in my life.


8. My favorite color is blue (sorry, I'm running out of things to say here).


9. Sometimes I think I was born in the wrong era.  Something about late 1800 Appalachia feels like home to me.  Maybe in a past life?  Homesteading, pioneering, trains, self-reliance, a less materialistic/wasteful way of living.  Back when bluegrass music was just plain ole music, and not for hippies.


10. I'm a horrible speller.  If it wasn't for spell check, you probably couldn't read this.


11. I still have absolutely no idea what I want to do when I grow up.

Karrie's Questions:

1.  What is your all time favorite dessert?


Butter cookies.  Told you I'd get back to this.  Here's the recipe, try it, but be warned, you won't be able to stop yourself from eating half the batch in one sitting.
  
2.  Where would you go if you could go anywhere on earth?
Out west (Montana, Wyoming, Colorado, etc), work on a dude ranch (like a real one not the touristy kind) and work so hard in a day that I'd never have to worry about what I eat (like the way our bodies are meant to function).
 
3.   What's the biggest lie you ever told?
Hmmm, that's a good one.  Maybe something I've said in a job interview.  Like "oh yes, I've always seen myself as a [blank]".  Refer to #11 above.
 
4.  How often do you go without washing your car?
Ha!  Well I can't remember the last time I did, so that should answer your question...  actually I do run it through those automatic car washes during the winter time to wash the salt off.  Go me!
 
5.  What do try to keep yourself from doing, but some how never seem to get out of it?
I try to keep myself from baking Butter Cookies because I'll know I'll eat half the batch.  But somehow they just keep getting made...
 
6.  What do you take to pot lucks?
You're probably thinking I'll say Butter Cookies here, but no, I only cook those for myself.  It makes the post-eatinghalfthebatch self-loathing much better that way... Usually I'll make something yummy and gooey and casserole-y for potlucks.  Like any Southern girl would.
 
7.  What is your proudest moment?
This is going to sound incredibly corny, but I can't narrow it down to just one.  My daughter fills me with pride constantly, daily really.
 
8.  When is the last time you took a nap?
I fell asleep in the car driving back from Roanoke this weekend.  Does that count?  I couldn't lean the seat back all the way b/c there was too much crap in the car, so I had to sleep sitting up and I kept doing that head bobbing thing.  It was very restful, let me tell you....
 
9.  What are you currently reading?
Currently I'm half way through Hunger Games #2 and half way through Twilight Breaking Dawn (book 4).  Why two at once you ask?  Well, I was on the waiting list for Twilight at the library and it finally became available, so sorry Hunger Games, had to put you on hold.
 
10.  How often do you go to the grocery store?  What do you usually buy?
I wish I could say I only went once a week and always remembered to buy everything I needed.  Instead it seems I end up going another 2-3 times and only to purchase 1-2 items because I forgot them during (what was supposed to be) my once a week trip.
 
11.  What was the last thing you prayed for? 

For my very good friend and her newborn baby.


Martha's Questions:

1. If money was not an issue, how would you spend your days?
2. Does your first impression of people usually end up being way off or spot on?
3. What is something you do or believe or follow that is totally superstitious?  Or atleast something you do that your common sense tells you is incredibly silly but you do it anyway.
4. What is your favorite motivational or inspirational speaker/public figure and why?
5. What is something that is considered "taboo" that you've never really had a problem with?
6. What's the best vacation you've ever had?
7. Do you consider yourself an introvert or an extrovert?
8. What's currently #1 on your bucket list?
9. What skill do you wish you had but know you never will?
10.  What's your all time favorite song and why?
11. Have you ever stuck to your New Year's Resolution?

What I've been doing with myself

Hello my dear sweet blog.  I'm sorry it's been so long.  I have been otherwise detained.  I'm afraid I have a new addiction, it's called Stackhouse-itis.  That is, I'm addicted to the Sookie Stackhouse books.

No I am not going to blog about the books, I'll only take my addiction so far.  And to profess my loyalty to Team Bill in a public platform such as this blog is not what I plan on doing.

Anywho...

So what have I been up to you ask?  Well other than flying through 11 books in about 4 weeks, umm, well, that's about it.  I would wake up, read, play with Emma, read, change her diaper, read, eat lunch while reading, put her down for nap, read for a solid three hours or so... you get the idea.  I WAS OBSESSED!

Why on earth was I so obsessed?  Well, I'm a little bored.  (ya think?)  While I'm super duper happy we're back in the good ole NC, I had a lot going on in Roanoke before we left.  Now I have a massive void to fill (after some of the crude remarks in the books, this line makes me snicker a little).

Of course after finishing the books, I had to move onto True Blood, the HBO show based off the books.  Holy hell.  There are some pretty raunchy scenes in the books, but seeing them in person can almost make me blush.  Course the show takes things to a whole other level, most of craziness in the show never even happened in the books.  But still, wow.

So, of course I've now finished all the shows, or atleast up to season 3 which is all Netflix has available.  Now I'm just a lady in waiting until the new book comes out in May, or Netflix decides it can finally release season 4.  I must say, I'm going through some withdrawals.

So as I try to fill my void (tehehe) with other interests, please enjoy my enjoy my favorite scene from the books/show:

Crap, this whole post ended up only being about the story.  Stackhouse-itis, it's for real y'all.

I'll be home for Christmas

One of the advantages of moving closer to home is that we can just pop up to Ashe County any ole time we want to.  My aunt works at the local Arts Council, and they were doing a day with Santa, so we decided to go and have a little Christmas fun.

Much to our surprise, Emma was not scared of Santa at all!  In fact, she was pretty excited to see him!  However, the Rudolf & Frosty were her favorites.  As evidence here.  She's sitting in the "The Big Man in Red's" lap and is giving a big wave to Rudolf.  "REINDEER!," she was saying.  :)

Here she is having a little chat with her two faves.

We also got to see the tree my other aunt decorated for the Tree Fest exhibit.  Be sure to go here and check out the "It Takes a Village" tree.  Pictures of my Grandma & Grandpa Herman's baby picture ornaments that were on the tree:

 

Then there was an announcement that Mrs. Claus was doing a story-telling and to send the kids back if they'd like to hear it.  So I sent Emma back and when I went to check on her, his is what I found:

This might not seem like much to you, but what you don't know is that this Mrs. Claus is actually Mrs. Judy.  My old kindergarten teacher.  Mrs. Judy was probably the BEST kindergarten teacher EVER.  Yes, I'm a little biased, but this is truly a woman who loves children, not to mention a renowned story-teller in the county.  Just listening to her talk I was brought back to my kindergarten days, listening to her tell a tall tale that would have my imagination soaring through the world she was describing, hooked on every word she spoke.  Her voice could be so soothing one minute, then booming and passionate when we got to the really good parts.  My heart just melted when I saw my daughter listening to Mrs. Judy work her magic.

While it was just another day for the other Ashe County mamas who were standing next to me, I couldn't help but get misty-eyed.  After all the years we've been wanting to move back to NC, after all the headaches of moving, all the coordinating, changing driver's licenses, car registrations, finding a preschool for Emma, etc, etc.  Every bit of it was worth it.  We are finally here, where we belong.

We are HOME.

And you better believe she knew right who I was.

The wonderful world of toddlers

Just a small glimpse into what life with a toddler is all about:

The seemingly innocent grocery store trip.  Most of the time I go on the weekends or when Emma is in school (i.e. by myself).  There is something so calming about that liesurely stroll through the isles, checking out new products, reading the nutritional labels, comparing prices...

However, having to go when I've got a toddler in tow, it's a completely different experience.  Today was a fine example...

It all started with the "kiddy" cart.  You know the ones with the little cars attached to them.  You strap the kid in and they can pretend to steer while you buzz down the isles.  Never mind that the damn thing is as big as a Buick and steers about like the Titanic.  But hey, if it keeps her happy, then I'm all for it.  And it did manage to intrigue her curiosity... for about 10 minutes anyways.

Thanks to a few recent trips to Lowe's with Daddy, Emma has now learned that she doesn't have to stay in the cart.  She can get out and run up & down isles, pull things off the selves, talk to complete strangers, just pretty much act like she's in an indoor playground.  This wouldn't really bother me if I only had to get a few things and was just making a quick trip.  However, today was a "two sheet-er" grocery list, not to mention I'm in a new store where I haven't figured out where everything is, so I didn't really have the time to stop a toddler from climbing the shelves like they're a jungle gym, on top of trying to make sure she wasn't kid-napped by that illusive "boogey man".

So needless to say, a temper tantrum ensued once I told her, "No, you can not get out of your seat."  Thus began the relentless screaming, stopping only to inject repeated versions of this:

 

So I hurry through my list, try to "nicely" push my Titanic-sized cart through all the lil old ladies buying their Thanksgiving goodies, all the while trying to calm a 2 y.o. thats screaming like a banshee.  The looks I was getting were relentless, so much that I just stop making eye contact.  Head down, eye on the prize.

The check out line did provide some relief, found one that was open with no waiting.  The eager young teenage boy who is out of school this week and trying to earn an extra buck upheld his end of the deal and made some small talk with Emma.  This provided long enough time for me to make sure I used the right credit card, those bananas rang up on sale, that's good.  Whew, the blood pressure was starting to subside.

Finally make it out to the car, find my inner Incredible Hulk and pick up like 14 bags at one time and hurl them in the car.  Now comes the sweet, sweet serenity of granting the child the one thing she has been begging for for the last hour.

"Ok Emma, let's get out of your seat!"

Brows furrow, chin drops, hands on hips...

"NOOOOOOOOO!!!!"

Obscenities flow through my brain at such rapid fire that even if I wanted to voice them it wouldn't have came out as anything legible.

Home is where the heart is

I certainly don't think of myself as being "well-traveled".  Never made that trip out west like I've always wanted, never been to NYC, to Europe?  I wish.  But I definitely feel I've had lots of addresses within the last ten years.  There were the five addresses in my four year stay in Raleigh.  (really?)  Then we squeezed in a short stay in Birmingham.  Then came the big move to Roanoke.  We had an apartment for a few months, then we purchased our first home.  This home was so special and so good to us.  It survived our first few years of marriage, it witnessed those long, tiresome nights when we first brought home Emma.  It saw her take her first steps, eat her first birthday cake, and speak her first words.  Wonderful memories indeed.

 And oh the friendships made along the way.  The kind that will last a lifetime.  I'll still be reminiscing with these folks when it's Emma's turn to go to college or have her first child.

But through all these many addresses, all these wonderful experiences, all these cherished friendships, my heart kept pulling me back to my roots.  To where it thinks is home.

 

Well, I'm so happy to say, our newest address is the closest to home I've been in a long time.  We've only been here a week and I can already feel a rekindling of my former self.  There is just something about returning home that just warms the soul.  My heart, so to speak, is happy.